The Angry Fag

News and Views from a Man Who Likes Men

Top Ten Reasons Gay Marriage is Wrong

Posted on | January 8, 2006

Saw this over on Pam’s House Blend and thought I would repost it:

Top Ten Reasons Why Gay Marriage is Wrong

  1. Being gay is not natural. And as you know Americans have always rejected unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
  2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
  3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because, as you know, a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
  4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
  5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed. The sanctity of Britney Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
  6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.
  7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
  8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.
  9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
  10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

Filed Under Humor |

Comments

One Response to “Top Ten Reasons Gay Marriage is Wrong”

  1. Cari
    February 20th, 2006 @ 10:35 am

    I am doing research for a Victimology class that I am taking in college. I happen to come across this site and started reading many of the things that you have posted here. I am looking for information on what we can do to change the incidence of hate crime. I just wanted to say that before I visited this site, I was against gay marriages. I have a gay friend and I dont consider myself prejudice in any way. To me, gay marriage just didnt seem right for some reason, probably all the brain washing that I have had in my adolescent years. I would have to say now that I would be for gay marriages. Thank you for the great information!

Leave a Reply