Polygamists Follow the Gay Marriage Bandwagon

Posted on | March 13, 2006

A while back I discussed a report released by the Canadian Justice Department detailing how polygamy should be decriminalized in that country. Members of the American Taliban like the Family Research Council went up on flames because polygamy is one of the four horsemen of the marriage apocalypse that would come if gays were allowed to get married. The report was actually in reference to removing criminal punishment for polygamy and not actually recognizing polygamous marriages that may happen inside Canadian territory. Canada only recognizes polygamous marriages from other countries where the practice is accepted and the decriminalization recommendation was based on offering support to the wives in those recognized polygamous marriages.

However now in the United States there is a movement to bring back polygamy which enjoyed popularity among practitioners of the Mormon faith until 1890. Using decisions like the Supreme Court’s Lawrence v. Texas one that individuals had the right to engage in private conduct like sex free from government intrusion and thus negated all anti-sodomy laws, polygamy activists wish the same protections for their relationships as well.

I have to admit mixed feelings on this. Part of me wants to completely deny that these individuals are discriminated against because they have the option to at least marry one person and that their relationships are at least partially protected. And I am not alone in that sentiment because it does sort of prove the statements like those made by Rick Santorum that gay marriage is a "slippery slope". Not to mention the opportunity for wide-spread abuse given how easy it is to get married and divorced in today’s society. However the more objective part of me has to agree because one of the arguments used by gay marriage activists and supporters is "who is the government to define our relationships?" and such which could apply to polygamists equally. The human heart is a mystery and while some psychologists have studied love and other emotions, we have not yet established a formula for attraction and thus cannot really say the polygamy is not a legitimate form a relationship can take. I have seen some polygamous gay relationships as well, most notably what some people call "trines" where there are three men instead of just two.

Ultimately though I find myself having to conditionally accept polygamy and support it. I feel that, like the Canadian Justice Department suggested, polygamous marriages should no longer be criminalized because they really are not hurting anyone. They should be included in the "perks" of marriage like family passes and such as well. My condition though is that the government does not have to recognize marriages beyond the primary one for things like tax benefits or any of the legal stuff. How they define who the "first wife" or "first husband" is, be it a legal designation made the spouse or it is defined through whoever married them first, is up to the government and the people take it from there. Companies should also be exempt from having to offer benefits to spouses beyond the first one because it would be costly and make it a burden to them to provide the benefit to all employees’ families. On the flip side, the spouses not designated as the primary one can leave the marriage a lot easier than the first one or couples in monogamous marriages.

In the end it comes down really to what harm are polygamists doing to society? There are an estimates 30,000 to 50,000 of them within the United States and have been here for quite some time and society has not crumbled yet. So why not just let them live their lives and leave them alone?

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